Letting go

A lesson for someone with Saturn in their first house

Wen Xin Writes
4 min readJan 2, 2025

I had some time to begin drafting this piece in the last week of December, but I’d hesitated (maybe, strongly resisted) the thought of doing so. I had wanted (needed) to spend my recharge week (company-mandated time off over Christmas and New Year’s) not thinking about anything work-related.

Here’s what my recharge week looked like instead:

1. Catching up on the pile of books that I’d neglected in the year.

In the week, I’d spent most mornings and afternoons with a cup of coffee, quietly reading; with no distractions nor the guilt of having to check my email or Teams for any “urgent” issues (is anything ever truly “urgent”?)

I’d let my mind wander with curiosity towards the things I’d read; I even started exploring my own natal chart in detail (humour me for now) because of The Full Moon Coffee Shop, and realised I had Saturn in my first house (more on that later).

Through all that, I felt my body’s fight-or-flight response turn off; a weight lifted off my shoulders.

Maybe sometimes we just need to grant ourselves permission to exist in our own time and space without bearing the responsibility of having to respond to others.

2. Catching my lifelong-favourite artist at the Singapore leg of his tour.

JJ20 Final Lap—having been a fan for close to 2 decades, it was a good 3 hours of being transported back in time through his live vocals and impressive (I promise I’m not being biased) stage effects.

It had started pouring 2 hours before the concert was scheduled to start and I’d felt a little defeated as I left home to make my way to the stadium. But the rain turned out to be a blessing in disguise.

Having brought an umbrella, we were able to get to the front of the sheltered, but snaking, bag-check queue, which meant having more time to settle down and take in my surroundings and the stage setup before the show.

3. Catching shuttlecocks on the badminton court (trying to regain some physical fitness)

Within the 10-day recharge week, I had probably managed to fit in 3 times the workouts I would normally get in the same amount of time. Funnily enough, these workout sessions had all happened at a time that did not clash with my usual work hours.

Which got me wondering— what’s stopping me from doing the same on a normal work day/ week?

At which point it became clear to me how one’s mental state at work can have roll on effects on their physical health.

In hindsight, I’d spent my recharge week doing a lot of catching...which must mean, at some point, I’ve let these things, all important to me, go.

Amongst the other, smaller pieces at work, 2024 saw my team and I slaying a legacy monster (system), a first-of-its-kind feat for the company globally. Externally, it was a you-deserve-to-be-proud achievement, but, internally, at what cost?

[Redacted details about the who’s and the what’s]

I’d taken my work frustrations to dinner table conversations.

I’d exchanged once enjoyable morning workouts for in-denial sleep-ins.

And I’d spent the time I could have spent reading doom scrolling on social media.

In wanting to prove myself,

I had basically let work consume me.

Source: wonderled.life on Instagram

Retrospectively, perhaps letting go could have been the simplest solution.

Perhaps getting something done imperfectly is better than not having done it at all.

And perhaps doing your best in what you have control over and leaving the rest to unfold on its own is an acceptable option.

“You have Saturn in your first house—that of the self. That means you’re diligent and motivated — but most of all, you’re hard on yourself. Even when no one has a bad word to say about you, you’re never happy with your achievements or yourself. Tell me don’t you find it a little hard to breathe sometimes?

—The Full Moon Coffee Shop, Mai Mochizuki

I hope the new year will see more time spent pursuing activities that nourish not only yesterday and today’s self; but also all my possible future selves.
*Possible selves — a concept from Working Identity, by Herminia Ibarra.

I don’t yet have the answers as to how I’ll achieve that, but, I guess, knowing is always the first step towards change. To close with a quote from another one of the books I’d manage to finish during the recharge week:

“Writing out a plan for your life ‘is like driving at night in the fog’. You can only see as far as your headlights, but you can make the whole trip that way.”

— Think Again, Adam Grant

Here’s to a more well-rounded 2025.

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Wen Xin Writes
Wen Xin Writes

Written by Wen Xin Writes

Welcome to my thoughts and documentation of life’s adventures.

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